This is honestly one of the hardest blog posts I’ll probably ever write. I’ve tried starting this post with about 6 different introductions, but I can’t seem to find anything that satisfies me.
Maybe I’m just overthinking it (as usual). Kind of ironic since ‘overthinking’ everything kind of ties into this topic.
So I’ve come to the conclusion, that I’m just going to type away my thoughts and hope for the best, that at the end, it kind of makes sense. The problem is that, I know what I want to write but just can’t get it out in a way that makes sense because so many different thoughts and ideas coming in from all directions makes it so confusing and scrambled up in my brain.
However, I’m going to try, because I don’t give up!
I don’t even remember when the last time the word “originality” rolled off my tongue was, but I know I haven’t used, spoke, wrote or even thought about it in ages.
And recently, ever since putting the quote “Don’t be afraid of being different. Be afraid of being the same as everyone else.” in my Instagram bio, I keep coming back to that word, connecting it to that quote and asking myself hundreds of questions. Questions like:
Am I original? Am I doing anything that makes me stand out? Why don’t I stand out? Am I too ugly? Why do I have a blog? Am I blogging for the right reasons? What am I even doing?
I initially put that quote in my Instagram bio, just to fill up my profile and for everyone who views it, to get a dosage of inspiration for the day. But, I never really “took it in” and applied it to myself, I guess. I mean, like I said, I literally just searched google for an inspirational quote, placed it in there so my page didn’t look too empty. No enormous thought-process behind it all.
Until now, I’ve realized that I’m really struggling with creativity and being original. And I ask myself, why is it so hard for me to try something and maybe stand out a bit? Why don’t I want to try something different and be recognized for it?
I really liked being recognized for my school work and for my dance accomplishments. I was proud of myself for all the hard work I put in day in and day out, so why not when it comes to something a little outside my comfort zone, like in the fashion, blogging, modelling, etc. world?
Those are the thoughts and questions…
that have just been swarming my head A LOT recently. And I’ve been trying to find answers to all the questions and thoughts and I think it’s finally clicked with me. The answer is the quote I put in my bio.
I’m so afraid of being different. And I’m not afraid of being the same as everyone else.
Everyone has to go to school and has to hand in projects where they can either choose to be or not be creative and original. I chose the creative and original route because, it was normal and everyone expected that there’s going to be people in their classes who will aim for more.
A lot of people have hobbies! It’s not not normal that someone goes to dance 4-5 times a week and then goes off to dance competitions on weekends and wins some awards.
All those things, trends, whatever you want to call it, fall under the category of being “normal” in society’s standards and that’s why I don’t have a problem with being original and creative in school or dance.
And what I mean by normal is just that, it’s something a lot of people do and you wouldn’t really think twice and question if someone said they pay soccer, dance or go to the gym in their free time.
Blogging isn’t Normal?
I don’t exactly mean that blogging, modelling, vlogging aren’t normal. They’re just not common hobbies (or even jobs, for some people). It’s more likely to have a classroom with more students playing sports than have a classroom full of people who blog, if you get what I mean.
So I’ve come to this conclusion:
that my originality is stuck behind this big thick wall symbolizing the fear of being different. Looking different. Acting different. Talking different. And not being the same as everyone else.
Which sounds dramatic to some people, but it’s true and I’ll admit to it. And I’m 100% sure I’m not the only person out there, who is struggling with this.
There’s so many people that are worried about how they look and making sure they don’t look any different than the girl or guy next to them.
Or they need to make sure they’re following the latest fashion trend. Which I don’t get. How are people original if they’re just following the trend and doing the same. Why not do something that you really want to do, and who knows maybe what you did will turn into a trend.
I mean I get taking a trend and styling around it, but I just don’t think doing the exact same thing is cool and trendy. It’s just boring to be honest. I saw these two girls once, and they were both pretty much wearing the same thing, black jeans, black tank and a denim jacket. Different brands of course and slightly a different style, but still so similar and I was just thinking: where’s your own personality, you know?
And don’t get me wrong. I’m so guilty of doing the same. Because, like I said, it’s the fear of being different.
The whole idea of overthinking everything is what ties into this, if you understand what I mean.
And I just think that we need to stop overthinking everything we do. Think a little less, is a motto that we need to consider more often.
When interactions or things I do, don’t have the outcome as I had wished or predicted, I replay the situation over and over and over and ask myself what the people who I interacted with now think of me. If I made a good or bad impression. If I had done or said this better, what would have happened. Would it be awkward.
This constant overthinking about the smallest situations, makes me go crazy.
And so many times, I just have to tell myself to stop overthinking the smallest things that honestly don’t matter and the majority of people really don’t care about.
I find that we often just throw around the word “embarrassing” way to much. We use it to talk about so many situations that aren’t even THAT embarrassing. Or just aren’t embarrassing at all.
I remember in high school from grade 7 to about 10, everyone just thought everything was so embarrassing. And we wouldn’t do things, because they were different and not everyone else did the same.
“Noo, omg that’s so embarrassing” is a sentence I heard every single day. And now when I look back, that sentence was used for situations that were honestly, the total opposite of embarrassing. Like going to a classroom full of students and asking the teacher for a book or something, was/probably still is apparently very embarrassing.
We make a big deal about the smallest things, that are so irrelevant and you shouldn’t even think twice about it. Like, if a someone asks you to grab something from a different classroom full of students.
A lot of the time now, I automatically have this mindset that things I did or plan to do are embarrassing. And I’m pretty sure that just came from high school and has carried on afterwards. Which is a habit that I need to get rid of for good.
When I start thinking about ’embarrassing” situations and try to stop myself, I envision myself in the other people’s shoes and watching the situation play out from their point of view and how I would react to that as a “viewer”, if you get what I mean. I can tell you about 99.99% of the time, when I envision those scenes as a “viewer”, I could care less and don’t find it embarrassing at all.
Kind of confusing, but I hope you can kind of understand what I mean with that.
Now, I’ve made some progress in this whole fear of being different, standing out, overthinking, or considering situations to be embarrassing business. My confidence level has raised and I know it can go even higher. Just takes some time.
I’ve also already taken the leap of becoming more open on my Instagram with adding more pictures of myself, and starting up a blog but I haven’t quite made it to the point where I’m adding my own touch on things and being original YET.
My mindset is that: Ok, I’ve started a blog, my friends, family and teachers probably think it’s so weird, let me just try and fit in like all the other bloggers so I slide under their radar. Do not be different, or else you’ll stand out and make a foul of yourself.
AND, that’s the complete opposite thing I should be doing. As a blogger, you want to be different and have your own twist on things, to stand out and get people to read your posts!
It’s this “overthinking” thing that’s holding be back a little. But like I said, it’s honestly getting better!
To close off…
All in all, I just want to say, if you read this or just skipped to the end: stop overthinking everything. It’ll hold you back from things you want to say or do and it makes you go crazy and makes you regret your decisions.
And let’s be real.. that’s not how you want to live your life. Live your life to the fullest and don’t worry about what everyone else thinks about you. And trust me, what you do or say is probably not embarrassing, so don’t think twice.
So, those are my thoughts on that topic and little bit of advice for you and I. I definitely still need to take my own advice and knock down that wall of fear of being different. It shouldn’t be standing anymore!
The only thing we need to fear, is being the same as everyone else!
P.S. sorry if this was confusing / if you did’t really understand. I tried my best to put my thoughts into words. It was really hard. I hope you kind of got something from this!
Have a wonderful day.